Desire Directs Expression – Canceling Compliance Confused with Consideration:
When it comes to communication one common theme I’ve found within those once known as people pleasers is a disorientation of value. See, they are coming into recognizing their own value, which means they still don’t have the habit of self valuing through and through, yet. Thusly the obvious outer places where they focused on others over themselves are usually first noted and attempted to change. Yet there’s a struggle because it seems like you’re always just trying “not” to be too nice, however what we don’t consider is the fact that “too nice” was a our norm and often the idea of being mean on any level there’s a deep aversion towards and yet still we somehow think we can teach ourselves what’s “just right.”
In this place we like to avoid all things mean and see them as extreme, yet we don’t recognize that something’s have been mistitled mean because of our own misunderstanding or because of a bad example of a good quality (often there isn’t even a concept that there can be “bad” examples of “good” qualities).
Another way to put it, we are extremely against one side, and extremely for the other. Yet we still rely upon our old conclusions of nice and mean as we yet attempt to move into a new place. We offer ourselves the same rules on consideration though we attempt to not be so nice.
In this we see the confusion at play, for this is not the path of clarity nor true accurate self expression. The Path is through recognizing that desire directs expression and trusting that what’s best for me IS what’s best for everyone. Then as we also see that the question isn’t “am I being too nice or am I being mean” but “am I being true to who I am, true to what’s in me, and true to what’s best for me; recognizing that, in truth, that is what’s best for them as well?”
We let this be the thought; for we can’t keep thinking in the same way and expect that familiar way of thinking to lead us into new places nor places more deeply aligned with the Divine. As we focus in this way, we begin to experience the key to getting out of our heads and being in our spirit; for as the thoughts above plus recognizing that you’re more than enough, greater than your challenges and ambitions all sink into our heart we learn and internalize subconsciously the principles of true expression, trust in our inner notions, increasingly love the self, and further recognize that we attract what we are, and we are what we think about, and we then more naturally trust that we’re connecting with those who love themselves similarly. Innately in the self, the spirit, the empowered thoughts towards true self expression of self and others becomes more and more the preferred over the old.
Lastly, we must consider the notion of conflict and the aversion towards it. By recognizing the misconceptions I mentioned above we can more readily recognize that our aversion to conflict came within the extreme avoidance of anything mean or bad; remember any thing mean on any level we wanted nothing to do with and being so keenly aware we could tell on the most subtle of levels when something we wanted, said, or did seemed to make someone else mean or more mean towards us. We concluded that we must be nicer in order to not be treated more mean, so we end up not seeing that “we thought complying was being nice.” So instead of getting nicer, we complied more. When we are older and try to fix our “niceness” we struggle. Yet that’s only because it is our tendency to comply that must be fixed not our nature and quality of being nice. So as we missed this background confusion, we would only conclude that we had to be mean to not be so nice yet now we see, it is that we are being true to what’s within us and that means that I’m always being nice because I’m always being true!
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